After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
