That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
