Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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