My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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