I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The struggles of a small town man whore
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize