I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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