How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
