I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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