but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
