I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
