You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
