How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I believe in your delicious
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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