Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dignity is for republicans.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
