when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
