id be glad to
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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