so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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