I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
