If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
