would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
