As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
