She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
