hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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