The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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