So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
