I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
