First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
