i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
