Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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