East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
