Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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