Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
