Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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