Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
