When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
