She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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