my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
