3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
