Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
