I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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