Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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