If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize