I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
