I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
