No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
