so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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