I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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