Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
