My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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