Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
What a fucking waste of an outfit
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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