i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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