do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
