There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
