I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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