I wanna bring you to show and tell
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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