Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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