we have officially mastered the walk of shame
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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